On Striving and Letting Go...
Why forcing opportunities rarely works, and how slowing down opened more doors than chasing ever did.
Arthur Brooks talks about striving - the restless drive for more, for better, for progress. It resonated deeply with me because striving has shaped almost every part of my life.
It’s in my DNA. My grandparents worked in factories. My parents became civil servants. Each generation leaned into achievement as the way to lift the family forward. Striving was survival, and achievement meant freedom. By the time it reached me, it wasn’t just about working hard, it was about pushing, about turning opportunities into reality.
And for a long time, it worked. Striving got me qualifications, opportunities to travel for work, to be exposed to high performance environments (meeting other “strivers”, and a career in sports physiotherapy I once only dreamed of. But the harder I pushed, the more I started to feel friction. Forcing opportunities often meant exhaustion, misalignment, or doors opening to the wrong rooms.
The real shift came when I stopped forcing. Recently, I leaned into a niche area of physiotherapy that genuinely interested me. Three years later, that curiosity turned me into an early adopter of a valuable clinical tool in sports medicine. But it didn’t happen because I pitched endlessly or lobbied for opportunities. It happened because I shared knowledge, created content, and engaged with peers - not to get something, but simply because I enjoyed sharing and engaging. All of a sudden I was in the right place, at the right time, by none of my own planning (for once).
The paradox is striking: the moment I stopped trying to manufacture opportunities, they began to multiply. By pacing myself and loosening my grip, I’ve attracted more of what I was chasing, but without the friction of forcing.
Striving, I’ve realized, is best seen as fuel. It can drive us forward, but left unchecked it blinds us. My lesson has been simple: don’t abandon ambition, but don’t let ambition hold the wheel either.
NP
Finding myself in a similar boat. Striving and pushing but having opportunities not work out the way I envisioned has lead me to take a step back and just go with it (not at all in my DNA either). But slowly opportunities are trickling in again, hopefully it follows the same trajectory as it did for you.
Thanks for sharing your experience Dominique, wishing you all the best letting go and channeling your striving for thriving!